cookie dough balls

"Broken cookies don't have calories" Unknown

It's always fun when you get your final paycheck print-out and you look down in the corner to read Year-to-date Earnings ~ some decent seeming number for a inexperienced young professional out of college.

Then you look at the way bottom of the page and it reads "Net Earnings" and you want to drown yourself in a sea of ice cream floating clumps of unbaked cookie dough balls, because that's what you really get to spend.

After you realize it's been two years since you graduated and if you continue climbing the corporate ladder at this rate you'll never pay off your student loans, maybe your credit card debt, but definitely never afford to go on vacation without your parents supplemental monetary aid.

At least you know, that someday you can give the gift of life long debt by encouraging your children to go to college. You wish someone had explained that getting a degree really meant, "you'll be able to get a job other than McDonald's, except you might actually make more if you were the manager at McDonald's"...

If only someone had encouraged becoming a lawyer instead of an architect, then dinner would consist of organic delicacies instead of bumblebee tuna cans. Does anyone else feel like they didn't get that memo?

homemade oreos

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand"Unknown

It’s a good thing I didn’t have the ice cream last night. My 6’-3” 250lb coworker just came over to say “Not to offend you, but I find it highly amusing that Helene and Brendan can walk by each other in the copier aisle, and you and I totally wouldn’t fit.” ….um…thanks? Not sure why he felt the need to share that as I was mentally calculating if I should make Oreo cookies or regular chocolate chip tonight...

Whatever, I’m still making cookies. I have my first dinner guests tomorrow night!

confessions of a fat kid

I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde

Last night, I made the boy watch Biggest Loser. Although I recently ran two consecutive half marathons and then a 10k, I haven’t worked out since. I’m going on week three of riding out the concentrated miles completed wave. I believe the intent of Biggest Loser is to motivate people to get off the couch and work out.

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which us… is odd. Because, I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh... watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh… try to figure out when my phone number spells in words….” – Ellen DeGeneres


Honestly? It made me want ice cream. Pshh I can run a half marathon. Okay, so not fast or well, but I can do it before they close the race and I can still hobble around the next day – I’m counting it.

Yep, I watched Biggest Loser and it made me hungry. Does this phenomenon happen to anyone else?

apple crisp

"Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously." - Woody Allen

Last night, I had asked the boy if we could drop off the apple crisp I had made at his sidekick's apartment for him and his roommate to enjoy. I would have made the apple crisp for the boy himself, but he hates all things dessert. I figured using the rest of the apples to make a dessert that requires 2 sticks of butter was not in my best interest, nor my butt's. The sidekick offered to come by and pick it up. That turned into the sidekick coming over for dinner. I had made tuna noodle casserole the night before so that we could have leftovers and get straight to apartment projects without having to work into the night.

Maybe I made it up that he was coming for dinner, maybe the boy eluded to feeding him... either way I made a quick greenbean casserole to flush out the leftovers and added some caprese skewers for appetizers. I slapped the boy's hand away and made him wait for his friend. An hour plus later, the sidekick shows up after his grad class. Guess who wasn't hungry? Yeah, he had to run. You know you're a fat kid when the boy went to fill my plate with seconds and I said 'No thanks, I'm good' and he asked 'is something wrong?'

I just want to host a dinner party!

skinny cow

"Food: Part of the spiritual expression of the French, and I do not believe that they have ever heard of calories."Beverley Baxter

This morning, as I was dumping about half a cup’s worth of whole milk into my watered down espresso I had the internal thought to switch to skim milk. “I’d probably drop some pounds just by weaning myself off the cow…” Then my very thin French coworker came over and said “K, you have lost a lot of weight, no?” Interestingly enough, I weighed myself this morning, as I’ve been known to do about oh… say… 6 times a day, and am up a pound. I’m not even wearing black. It’s amazing how much someone suggesting that I could be a thinner version of my summer self really makes my day brighter! This means I can probably hit up the candy bowl a few extra times today, right?